I know I’m not in charge in this house!

Not in Charge
It’s time to realize and accept that this is not a bad thing.

Welcome  As a mom or wife, have you ever said these words? Or at least thought them? I have, and even posted them once. I’m going to share that story and also why it’s good that I’m not in charge. I also have a great Italian Sub Stromboli recipe just perfect for any of your weekend parties or get-togethers. Note–I may receive a small compensation from affiliate links seen on this blog post. For further information, please see my Terms and Disclosure page.

Food For Thought  In my first 30-35 years of life my “ultimate” life goal was to have my own swimming pool.  I love to swim, but I love it even more when it’s convenient and with plenty of privacy.  After my husband and I bought our home in 2005, we began to discuss when and how to get a pool put in.  Then we had our daughter and he decided we would wait until she was at least a year old.  Next, his work put him in for a transfer and we were skeptical about getting to stay in our home.  And then, he started talking to his friends, and they filled his head with all of the information about insurance, city licensing fees, upkeep expenses, and so on.  Our daughter is about to turn 11 and still no pool!  I remember how angry I was at my husband about his decision to not get the pool.  I felt that he had promised me a swimming pool, and now he was going back on his promises.  Instead of accepting his decision and moving on, especially in the summer, I grumble about how nice it would be if we had our own swimming pool, emphasizing how expensive it is to go to the public pool, thus not getting to swim as much as I would like.  I’ve even thrown around phrases like, “Well, I can certainly tell I’m not in charge in this house!”  At almost 40 years old, I believe I have finally learned that this is not a bad thing!

God never intended for me to be in charge in this house.  First of all, as Christians, our home should be built on a Godly foundation, with all decisions and actions being brought to God and guided through prayer and scripture.  Now I’m not saying I needed to pray to God for a swimming pool!  But really, all major purchases and financial decisions should go through a sort of scriptural filter, determining if it is something that is needed or if it can bring blessing to others.  So, ideally, God is in charge at this house.  The second lesson I have learned, and probably one of the most difficult, is that I am to submit to my husband’s decisions.  God has intentionally placed our husbands as the heads of our homes for a reason.  I’m going to be brutally honest here…for probably the first 8-10 years of our marriage, I felt I could do a better job as head of the household, because I considered myself “more” Christian.  Yikes!  Please understand, my husband is a very good man, full of kindness and compassion for others, and he is a Christian, but never what I would have considered “super spiritual,” whatever I think that’s supposed to mean.  I also am really organized and a planner by nature.  He has difficulty making decisions sometimes and doesn’t always plan in advance.  So somehow I felt more qualified to be the leader in our home.  This was a critical misstep on my daily walk as a Christian wife and mother.  I think as a result of choosing to behave in this way, we had some challenging times in our marriage.  Fortunately, I’ve experienced a lot of spiritual growth in the past few years.  I’ve been able to read some helpful marriage books written from a Christian perspective and followed Bible study plans on the topic of being a more Godly wife and mother.  These things are very important to me.  These readings led me right into scripture so I could find exactly where I was making my mistakes and how I could work to fix them.

Suggested Reading: 

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The third idea I’ve had recently about being in charge is…it’s no fun.  It is considerably easier to confer with my husband about changes in our budget, work, home, or daughter and then trust the outcome based on his decision.  When I was making most of the decisions, I was constantly worried that I was making the wrong choice and how it could potentially affect my family in a negative way.  That’s so stressful!  By deferring the leadership role back to my husband, where it belongs, our home is being blessed in some completely new ways.  I have found that many of the decisions that I didn’t like have turned out to be for the best.  No pool?  Well, that’s an expense we don’t have to worry about now that we have just the one income.  And even though his company transferred him locally and we didn’t move back in 2009, we are now realizing that a move in our future might not be such a bad thing after all.  In fact, even I would prefer a move to a certain location than having that pool, so I’d rather put my “eggs in that basket.”  Sharing mutual goals and working toward them together is much more rewarding.

Today’s Prayer  My Dear Heavenly Father, I pray today for my husband.  I pray that he may lead our home and family in a way that is pleasing to you.  I pray that I may accept his decisions with love, knowing that he is fulfilling his duty as husband and head of our household.  I pray that my actions, behaviors, and attitude may be encouraging and uplifting to him so that he may continue to have faith in You and his ability to perform these tasks as leader in our home.  God, I ask for blessings on our marriage, and for the marriage of others.  May we all continue to pray and study and work at our marriage relationships so that we may grow closer to each other and closer to you.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Today’s Scriptures  Remember when I said that the books I was reading were leading me right into scripture to find out about the proper roles in our marriage?  There are plenty of places where I am given very clear and specific instruction regarding the marriage relationship with my husband, including the intention for him to be the leader of our home.  I’m not saying it’s easy.  It most certainly is not easy, but who am I to argue with God’s word?  I will share a few of the most prominent verses here today.

1 Peter 3:1-2  “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

1 Timothy 2:11-13  “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission.  I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.  For Adam was formed first, and then Eve.”

Colossians 3:18  “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

Ephesians 5:22-24  “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

1 Corinthians 11:3  “Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”

Today’s Recipe  It is an honor and privilege to cook for my husband each day.  I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate the days when he says, “why don’t I take you out to dinner tonight,” especially when I was working outside the home.  I also appreciate the fact that he is okay with nights when dinner needs to be quick and easy, like pancakes and bacon or hot dogs and tator tots.  But it truly makes me feel good when I have served a meal and he looks so pleased and satisfied with his dinner.  It’s the least I can do for him at the end of a long work day.  I’ve mentioned before that he loves Tex-Mex inspired flavors, but Italian may be a very close second on his preferred cuisine list.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t get it very often due to my annoying tomato allergy.  He only gets “traditional” spaghetti or lasagna if we happen to be dining out.  I’ve come up with some clever little tricks to get him similar flavors as often as possible.  One thing I came up with is this winner-winner-Stromboli dinner that lets him have classic Italian flavors that he can add marinara to after the meal is prepared.  I stay tomato-free and he gets to taste an old favorite.

Italian Sub Stromboli
Loaded with Italian meats and cheeses, it’s a man-pleaser for sure!


Italian Sub Stromboli (Makes 8-10 pieces)

  • 1 loaf frozen bread dough, thawed according to package directions (I like Rhodes Classic White frozen bread dough that comes in packs of 3.)
  • 1/2 pound Italian sauage
  • 2 cups shredded Italian cheese blend (you can also use just mozzarella)
  • 1 envelope Italian dressing mix
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/4 cup Kraft grated parmesan
  • 1/2 pkg Hormel pepperoni
  • 1 pkg Buddig Salami
  • 1 pkg Buddig Pastrami
  • 1 pkg Buddig Ham
  • Sliced onion, deli-style roasted red pepper strips (like Mezzetta), and sliced black olives
  • Marinara sauce of choice, for serving

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  In large skillet brown sausage.  When cooked through, remove from heat.  Add 1/2 the package of cheese blend, 1/2 the package of Italian dressing blend, and 1 egg.  Mix to combine.

On lightly floured surface, roll out bread dough to form large rectangle.

On top of dough, place slices of salami, pastrami, ham, and pepperoni.

On top of the meats, add the onions, peppers, and olives.  You can easily substitute in and out for these vegetables with what you like…mushrooms, green peppers, pepperoncini, anything that you might find at an Italian-style deli!

Add the sausage and cheese mixture to the sub fillings.

Top with remaining shredded cheeses.

Whisk remaining egg in small bowl.  Fold over top of bread dough and brush with egg wash.  Fold up the bottom of the bread dough and pinch to seal where the egg wash has made the dough sticky.  Fold the ends of the bread dough over and seal with more egg wash in the same manner.  Line a large baking sheet with aluminum foil and spray with nonstick spray.  Place Italian Sub-stuffed bread dough on foil, seam side down.  Brush the top of the bread dough with remaining egg wash.  Sprinkle top with remaining Italian dressing and parmesan cheese.  Take a sharp knife and cut slits for air to escape during baking.  Bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

Remove from oven and allow to cool about 10 minutes before cutting into 8-10 pieces.  Serve with marinara for dipping, if desired.